Silent Isolation

Hi All!! Just back from a weekend away with family in Connemara in the West of Ireland, beautiful food, good company, stunning scenery and nice walks. Best of all…? I got to go and The Cat had to stay home. Yes I know, I used to get car-sick but the ginger snaps have fixed that and just in case an aunt had left some gingerbread, not that I saw any of that!!

We have spoken about loneliness before, but in relation to The Owner, that isolation that is experienced during a bad symptom day or simply the effect Parkinson’s Disease has on the best laid plans… All are subject to change at very short, or no notice due to the onset of freezing, tremor or fatigue. I encourage The Owner to push through these difficult times, and most times he does or works up a compromise. Doesn’t always work but he is no longer taking the easy road and just saying no.

What I wanted to talk to you about is the loneliness experienced by his wife. She married him 15 years ago a strong, athletic man with a good sense of humour and a blossoming career path. Sounds wonderful!! They had fun together, they enjoyed travelling, food and most of all each-others company. His wife his now essentially his primary care giver, and that is the role that occupies so much of their time together. Granted they have 2 children which takes up a lot of the time, but less and less  as they get older.

So why were there tears last night? Simply put she occasionally misses the athletic and carefree man she married and understandably so. She is now responsible for far more than anyone would have been anticipated and she never complains. Never, ever complains. She loves the man she married and she still loves him every bit as much today, probably even more than when they walked down the aisle. However sometimes the line between being both wife of and caregiver to get’s blurred.

The Owner needs to make as big an effort as she does, to ensure that his wife get’s the best of him and not his caregiver. Not as has been the case too many times before, where the chores of the day are done and she is left only with a sleeping house and  memories of what might have been, before Parkinson’s Disease stole some of the man she married.. Absolutely entitled to shed a tear.

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