Acceptance and Learning to say… “I just cannot do that..this week!!”


For all those who have asked… No!! I have still not caught the cat (her name is Moggy, and no…. I didn’t get to name her.) Thinking about that makes me wonder if I will ever catch her. I am after all 10, in Dog years which is getting on a bit (still looking good!!) so I may simply have to learn to accept, that there are some things I just cannot do anymore and may never be able to do again. The Owner whose Parkinson’s progresses, needs to face up to this 2. He needs to be honest with himself and everyone around him and learn to accept the limitations imposed and to not be afraid to say… “I just cannot do that..”

Earlier, especially when first diagnosed he used to pretend it didn’t affect him, tried to persuade himself that this was not really happening to him. Then when his body finally told him it was happening to him for real he fought it and that only made matters worse. On good days he thought he could do anything and everything he had always done. On bad days, there would be despair… he’d blame himself and anyone else close enough to be caught in the crossfire between his body and his brain. He tried to hide it from everyone including himself. A dark cloud of depression would settle over him that could not be easily dispelled.

Finally he realised that the only person feeling sorry for himself was yes indeed… himself. He could waste the rest his life with self-pity or he could participate in life… with his marriage, his family, with his friends, and with his work. He learnt to take one day at a time,  and that accepting the limitations that Parkinson’s imposes on him is absolutely not the same as giving up… it is the smart thing to do. By devoting his resources to where they were needed most, not just by him but by all of those around him he rediscovered the joy of being a father, a husband, a son, a colleague and most of all of just being himself. He still falters occasionally, but he recognises it, stop and says to himself “I cannot do that today… but maybe I can tomorrow!”

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